BellaDaddy Blog

So, this week's featured blog buddy is new to the Bella Fan Club scene. He popped up on DAD-BLOGS and the blogging neighborhood ain't never been the same since.



I am a meat and potatoes kinda guy, trapped in a chicken wrap, soy-milk, protein bar and bean sprout world (trying to eat healthy here) and this particular blogger makes me wanna head out and grab a cheeseburger...not because I crave it, but because I can...I want to...because I DESERVE IT! In a relatively short period of time, he has become one of my favorite blogger buddies...one of my favorite characters...and most certainly one of my favorite friends in the virtual world!



He leaves the most hysterical comments on our blog and honestly, I am always eager to see what he has to say next...his opinion matters and we adore his rants...and non-PC raves here! (He really is a nice guy although I have to apologize ahead of time to him - don't wanna ruin his rep with sugar coated compliments)...



We instantly became virtual friends, When you visit his blog, you'll encounter the same irreverent, funny, "piss you off - in your face" attitude that I love. And I say piss you off - in your face attitude because...well..let's just say he writes the world as it is...not only in his mind and eyes, but mine...and very well yours. That, and he even made me cry...The Bastard! (tee hee). Seriously.



Recently, I saw via the list to the right here, that he had updated. Blogged for the world to read...so, of course, being the uber-fan I am, (stalker maybe?) I raced over to see what was happening in his world. Usually, I read his musings and crack the hell up...(yes, a few profanities here and there, never hurts...and his blog is rampant with potty mouth analogies...(again, tee hee). To give him credit, and the benefit of the doubt, I am probably exaggerating a bit here...Man Oh Man I love reading this guys blog...can you tell yet? He has a badge on our blog, and that badge was made and posted just a few weeks after getting acquainted. We don't have many on here, but this was one we must have saved space for...hadda do it!



Anyway, I ventured over, clamping my butt cheeks, scrunching the abs, because I knew I was in for one hell of a belly laugh. Ya know, had to be prepared. And he made me cry.



THE BASTARD! (OK OK, I cry easily, being the emotional blob I am - but I was crying..and I mean C-R-Y-I-N-G! Out loud, lips quivering, body convulsing..,..thankfully Bella was napping and the other half was nowhere to be found!) Here I was prepared for a hearty good time...and I was blubbering like a baby.



This guy can WRITE! Seriously, like no other I have befriended in the blogger world. He says things that I think, he writes what I cannot...and he gets "it". You may absolutely love him, or hate him, but there is something you cannot deny...he is brilliant!



See for yourself...and go ahead...clench your butt cheeks too...it just may happen.

THIS is why I love this guy. (even if he did call me Dave) Check out the comment left:

"Thanks Dave and thanks to everyone who has stopped by and left GREAT comments. You know... some will ask... "How did a bad-ass International Security Operations Specialist come to be such good buds with Bella Dad?" Well this is how it happened..."I first met him atop a mountain near Jerusalem, praying to God, asking his forgiveness for the Radical Right blood spilt by his sword. Next, he amazed me still further in Italy when he saved a fatherless beauty from the would-be ravishing of her dreadfully ugly uncle. In Greece he spent a year in silence just to better understand the sound of a whisper. And that is how I met the man, nay the seeker of serenity, the protector of Italian virginity, the enforcer of our Lord God, Bella Dad!" (Insert theme music) ***Some accounts may be slightly (or wildly) exaggerated... but then again, I'm a writer! It's what I do! "

Last Weeks Featured Blog: SURPRISED MOM

We are the parents of a wonderful little girl. Beautiful. Intelligent. Smile Infectious. A truly amazing little human being...one who touches each soul she meets. BUTT! (and yes, you read that correctly B-U-T-T) there are some real asses out there in the world.





Recently, (today, which is why I am writing this now) I came across a comment on another blog (which shall remain nameless), whereby an "anonymous" person (yeah, brave, eh?) suggested that parents, who give birth via surrogacy stand accused of paying for a "Designer Baby".





Seriously? A designer baby? Because they opted for a surrogacy program? Because this particular child has Blond hair and blue eyes, the "anonymous" person likened their birth choice to the NAZI MASTER RACE PROGRAM. THE FRIKKIN NAZIS!!! (never in a million years would I have thought to mention Nazi's on our blog...maybe fashion Nazi's, but that is another story). This because most surrogacy programs allow two men to determine whose sperm will be used. Either mixed or chosen. Some, for considerable amounts of fundage, will even allow you to choose the sex and eye color...(which we declined...cuz personally, we found that creepy). OUR OPINION for US ONLY!





I threw up in my mouth a little when I read that! How could anyone accuse parents of such a thing. Two people who probably weighed the best, most important birthing decision of their lives. Our experience was long and drawn out, because we had to weigh countless choices. Adoptions (our state did not allow it at the time), Live birth (we decided against for fear of the birth mother changing her mind. Open Adoption, (same reason as Live Birth)...foreign surrogacy (too involved for us at the time and difficult to find a trusting source) and Foreign Adoption, (again involved and no guarantees). In short, it took almost three years before we had even conceived, just because of the paperwork involved!





Perhaps we were selfish. We knew in our hearts, for us to have a child together, we preferred the biological method. With all the legal, medical and scientific crap involved, trust me, it never really felt like a biological birthing process. Men and Women can get pregnant, easily. In my thought process, there are way too many "easy" babies out there...wanting homes...and we could not give them one...for so many ridiculous reasons. And quite frankly, we were not willing to wait any longer, for anyone else to determine if we were "fit" to be parents.





We chose surrogacy because we wanted to. We could. Regardless of the reasons, it was our decision. OURS! We would never, ever demean someone, discriminate against or judge anyone based on their very personal decisions to have a child. However they chose to do it. Many people could never afford the program we utilised, and we have had plenty of comments pertaining to that fact (most harmless, just curious as to how it worked) and we have met those comments with facts...not glossing over the difficult times...the seemingly endless frustrations with the lengthy process...the HUGE amounts of money set up in trust BEFORE you are even matched with a Surrogate. The worrying if our sperm count is up to par, or if we will even get pregnant the first time, the concern that the surrogate will stay healthy...that our child will be born "normal" (all ten fingers and toes - yes I counted when she was born).. Endless concerns. Just like you...anyone having a child. And, we most certainly share the joyous times; Meeting the surrogate for the first time, the one who will unselfishly give up her life for up to a year...and that first ultrasound...or the first heartbeat...yup...just like you. I would assume the first time a potential adoptive parent see a picture of the child, or the ultrasound, it would feel exactly the same...the pride, the joy!





We considered adoption, (again, not legal in our state at the time), and also the fact that there are millions of unwanted, abandoned American Children who need loving homes...but, we were not given that opportunity because we are Gay. We could have gone out of state, but., the costs, although reasonable would have provided no guarantees...and bringing a child across state lines, legally adopted or not, creates a whole other bag of tricks for us Gay Folks (again, at the time, 5+ years ago, in our state). And, to be honest, we were eager to have our family come to life...Once we had made our decision to start a family, nothing was going to stand in our way of creating life...our way. We have even had some rude comments and insinuations that we should have gone the adoptions route, considering the amount of money it cost us to conceive and carry, based on the amount of children needing homes. We considered all of it...with very heavy hearts! And when we meet families with adopted children, we are thrilled for them as a family. We don't compare our processes with theirs...we are just happy for them. They were able to create a family...to provide a loving home...to a child! (and of course, I tend to whip out the camera and blind everyone, taking countless pics)...





Now, I am sharing all of this because I feel the need to remind people; Please, before you open your mouth and let out a whole lot of hurt, consider yourself. Consider the position you would be in, doing whatever it took to make a family. Reach out and try to understand, to educate yourselves in the many options, and not, that are available (and not) to anyone. Gay, Str8, etc...doesn't matter. Options are out there, but the right options can only be chosen by those involved. And if you have never had to experience any of these life altering, life changing avenues...then please, shut before you speak!

Allow these families to enjoy their, well families without their having to consider your opinions! Consider what each go through, and will continue to go through, their entire life. No one should look in shame on any family...for wanting just that...a family!



It shouldn't matter how people have children, what should matter is they did...they do..and they will. Bringing children into this world (legally) is a miracle. And for the record, we are considering expanding our family..this time through adoption. Stay Tuned!


Our little one (and this blog) should be testament enough!

We know resume our regularly scheduled broadcast. You have not missed any of your favorite shows!