Thursday, June 25, 2009

So Proud...

I was asked recently what I did for a living...and I have to say...for some reason, I hesitated...but then quickly remembered...hell, I have the most rewarding job in the world....I get to be Bella's Stay At Home Dad!

Now, I've had a good career life...and one heck of a life in entertainment as well. I have done the professional gig, more than I ever care to admit...but boy, did I have fun in life too ;-)

I was a stand up actor (stage and film), dancer and a model. Yeah Yeah I know, you've seen the recent pics...but I really was...long before I got the wrinkles.

But now? Now, I wear those wrinkles proudly...cuz I know....these ole battle scars are for an amazing reason.

I am a stay at home dad!

I get to laugh allot. Play as much as I want. And in general, watch another human being grow before my very eyes. Knowing full well, her life is in my hands. My responsibility is to be there...always...for her. For our family.

When people comment on how cool, beautiful, smart and awesome Bella is...I take credit for it...hell, I have to...proudly!

Don't get me wrong, I am a Dad after all. There are times when I wanna crawl under a rock...disappear for awhile...and just be invisible. But, unlike previous career choices, I cant! I gotta be there...always...

And I love it ;-)

Happy Fatherhood Friday. Don't forget to check out my buds, and bud-ettes over at
Wednesday, June 24, 2009


Our blog friends "JEVE" recently asked a few questions of us:

"What is the GAYEST thing you’ve done prior to parenthood? "

"What is the GAYEST thing since becoming a parent? "

I don't know if our submission (submission, get it? - tee hee!) was all that "funny gay"...but it was definitely good times for us ...;-)

Some of these stories are absolutely hysterical...some will have you *sighing* and a few others?..., well, the "AWE" factor will cause a few, check out our friends blog, as well as our blogger friends...

CLICK_HERE to visit John & Steve's blog...and have a good chuckle.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Walk Down Memory Lane...

Happy Fatherhood Friday...and HAPPY FATHERS DAY!

With Fathers day this weekend, I thought it cool to (re) post how it all began....


After about a year together, we'd decided the time was right for us to research starting our family. We'd talked about adopting, but being a same sex couple, it was determined it would not be the best thing for us, legally or for the kid. Too many things can happen, like bio parents coming back for the kid, etc...Besides, the state we live in does not allow it, by law.

We knew we had allot of love to give a child, as much as we had for each other. Our friends, a male couple together for many years, had triplets a few years before we met, so we asked for advice and referral. They suggested we speak with a firm out of Los Angeles which specializes in same sex surrogacy. We arranged an appointment, flew to LA and the process was started.

Now, it ain't easy for two men to have a kid, not like we can go out and knock someone up and wait for labor...(well, we could, but that hasn't happened in years, wasn't gonna happen then LOL)! NOOOOO, we have to consult with attorneys, fertility doctors (not the voodoo kind, the "we cost lots of money" kind), counselors, geneticists, sperm banks (someone had to store our "stuff"), egg donor extractors, etc.... Our bodies had to be poked, prodded, explored and counselled to insure our baby, and the surrogate would not be infected with any range of STD's or genetic maladies. Of course, the egg donor and surrogate had to experience the same, to insure our baby would be healthy.

Now, funny thing about the egg donor processes...ironic in fact...We were directed to a web site, and it was almost exactly like an online dating service. We were directed to see the pics, watch the videos, and read about the family health histories of so many women. Most were actresses, models and housewives in the LA area, young and quite beautiful. Educated and eager to offer their eggs to a same sex worries, they are paid well for this. We chose our egg donor based on so many things, (looks of course) but also, genetic background, family health history, age, hair color, eye color...hell, even teeth. Yeah Yeah, Daddy saw one who was just perfect for our family, but, didn't care for her teeth. Papa said, "no worries, we can get them fixed later in life"...Daddy, says, "why bother?, we can find one with perfect teeth and not have to worry about it"...Daddy Won! We saw one woman, quite statuesque, blond, and Swedish...we were convinced she was the one...until we saw her video...SOOOOOO strong, stubborn, matter of fact and VERY competitive! Stubborn? I was like, NO WAY, I have to deal with one of those already not gonna have a kid like that too.....HELL NO! Ha...(Daddy Won that one too.) Now I suspect I know what you may be thinking, but trust me, I don't win too many battles..not even to this day...we knew from the beginning I would be a stay at home truly, not many battles for me to fight, let alone win anymore LOL!

Once the egg donor was chosen, it was a hurry up and wait scenario. The egg donor had to go through a few months of medical prep to "tune" her body into producing viable eggs for "harvest." During this process, behind the scenes, surrogates are thumbing through OUR profiles,. pics and bios, looking for the family they want to help create. Yup, the surrogates picks US, not the other way around. Think about it, they are a special breed. They offer up their bodies to carry, and birth a child. Not to mention, the 8 inch needles, full of OIL, for 2-3 months, faking their bodies into believing they are pregnant, readying for the embryo transfer...And of course, the 9 months of actually carrying a child that is not their own...stretching their bodies, for someone else's happiness! Again, not their own! So yeah, they get to pick whom they want to carry for. Hell, don't blame them...! They are paid well, but, in the grand scheme of things, no money can ever be enough, considering what they have to endure for more than a year...!!

We were eventually notified that a surrogate had chosen us....(finding out later, she picked us as her first choice). It was arranged that we meet, in Los Angeles and I don't have to tell you, my Partner and I were so was actually happening! She walks in the room, and I start crying, almost immediately. I mean, in walks a woman, so confident that WE are the family she wants to help create...I was so thankful for her...I couldn't help it, I hadda cry! It was like it all fit, no worries, no concerns, it was done! I can go on and on, with details and stuff, making this one hell of a blog entry, but I know the outcome, the family created here...the time and effort that goes into having a baby in a 2 Dad family is certainly more time consuming, more meds, more decisions, but hell, don't worry for us, we are damn happy to have our family started!!
Friday, June 12, 2009

"Bella, What Ya Thinking Bout"?

(The pic has nothing to do with the story - just wanted to share a day by the pool)

It has been a pretty darn cool week, but the highlight has been..."the big girl bed"
After our neighbor told us of their 2 year old, taking a header out of her crib, I have been concerned for Bella's safety. She is fearless when it comes to discovering new things and it was only a matter of time before she too took the dive.
Fortunately, she did not...ever! But, it made me think, when do you transition a toddler from crib to bed? Well, depending on who you talk to, I have researched and found it varies...GREATLY! Have received advice from parents and pediatricians, neighbors and friends, 15 months, all the way up to 4 years. 4 YEARS? Lord, no way I am lifting this kid out of a crib, several times a day...uh uh, not gonna happen.
So, when our friends told us of hearing that tell-tale thump, upstairs, I figured it was time to start looking into it for our little one.
Of course, the thoughts of how she would deal with this transition, this new change in her life, concerned me. So, for the past week or so, I have been psyching her into it. She prides herself on no longer being a baby. Reminding us over and over how she is now a "big girl." We ask her if she is a baby or a big girl, and she just about screams...NO, BIG GIRL! Bella is a big girl now! Soooo, one to stay with a theme, I kept on her...telling her over and over..."your big girl bed is coming"..."Bella's gonna have a big girl bed soon" "Are you excited to sleep in a big girls bed"?...I kept this up, until eventually, SHE was telling ME the same....
First step, bought her a standard size pillow. I was as, if not more, excited than she was to have this in her crib. FINALLY, I could get rid of the "pickle pillow"...(a small, green, firm, curved pillow. Not really sure what it was intended for, but, she seemed to like that it was a pickle...;-) Researching online, I found, best not to place a standard size pillow in a crib. Especially for infants, but, toddlers have also been known to have issues with a large pillow in a small space.
Eh, it was time. We needed the big girl bed.

Taking advice from yet another neighbor/friend...I ventured to Costco. Thinking I would price them there, then go on to our local mattress store and negotiate. Boy, was I surprised to find the mattress store was having a huge sale. It was 150 bucks cheaper than Costco - who would have thought? I had to have the mattress set...NOW!
Picked out a full size set (her crib turns into a daybed and full size bed - without the side rails - she is gonna have this till she is 18!!) and proceeded to wait 24 hours for delivery. Well, I got that wrong. For an additional 50.00 bucks they will deliver. I figured, eh, I can do it should fit in the back of my car...afterall, full size sets are just slightly larger than a twin. WRONG! Duh me, they are just smaller than a queen size set. LOL. Had to head back home, but not before calling my neighbor, and gotta love them, they offered their big ole Expedition! No more wait, I could get it home that night. If only you could have seen me tying that box spring to the top, and shoving the mattress in the back...not a pretty sight. Good thing I was alone, as I was cussing up a storm.
Next day, I took down the crib, placed the mattress and box spring directly on the floor. (again, taking advice to place it there for about a week, get her used to the idea).
That didn't take long...within hours, she was so excited to take a nap on her "Big Girl Bed". I was in shock, as she usually give me little hissy fits at nap time...not this day...uh uh, she went right down. Even sang herself to sleep...and in the 36 hours since, has slept all night and taken two naps...WOWSA! It worked!
Damn, our little girl has a big girl bed...not so little anymore...SIGH!


Bella was sitting in our family room, and as I glanced over, had a look of deep thought. I asked: "Bella, wotcha thinking about"? She replied: "I am thinking about my Daddy" oh man, did I melt in that moment!

SHOUT'N OUT TO MY PEEPS & PALS over at DAD_BLOGS Check us out, we give great advice and loads of fun stories, groups, discussions and welcome Moms too!

Friday, June 5, 2009

From Baby Babble to Chatty Cathy

Or just plain Cute? Our little one has become quite the chatterer....Seems like only a yesterday (so cliche eh? LOL) ago, we were still trying to decipher her words. She has become SO LITERAL, seemingly overnight!

She taught herself the alphabet at 19 months, thanks to Elmo and Old School Sesame Street DVDs...seriously, she did it, we watched, with fingers in ears and she actually learned the letters by sight, then sound. She is a braniac...she absorbs everything around her. Pays attention to conversations, and is a stickler for detail...but now?
Now? She doesn't shut it...goes on and on and on and on and on. My Partner recently suggested that I had asked for this. HUH? WTF? I said at one point: "I cant wait for her to talk, like a normal person. So I can actually have a conversation with her". Yup, that's what I said, after so many months/years of Baby Babble.

Being a stay at home parent, you don't get much adult interaction, unless you seek it out...and who has time? Who in their right mind would ever ask for anyone to chatter incessantly? Hell, for months now, I have SO looked forward to that one, maybe one and a half hour sleep time. Alone time. Just damn quiet time.
Anyway, now, it is:

Daddy, what are you thinking about?
Daddy, who is that on TV?
Daddy, where is Papa?
Daddy, are you feeling OK?
Daddy, do a puzzle with Bella?
Bella Do it Daddy. OK? OK Daddy? Daddy OK?
Daddy, Bella let the dogs out?
Daddy, Bella let the dogs in?
Daddy, go shopping?
Daddy, Bella do yoga?
Daddy, Bella do exercises with Daddy?
Daddy, Bella want juice, please, NOW!
Daddy, Papa at work?
Daddy, Pink Shirt, Pink Shoes, Pink Headband.
Daddy, where's Bella's Pink Glasses?
Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy! (I May change my name).

OK, OK, I know, how frikkin cute....but believe me...when you are experiencing it 24/ tends to get a little (ALLOT) redundant....
Now I say: "Man, I cant wait for her to go to school"...(of course I will miss her, what are you frikkin crazy?)

Moral of the story? Careful what you wish for.

And, don't forget to check out my friends over at

Happy Fatherhood Friday!

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