Thursday, June 3, 2010

SummerTime? Break it Down!

OK, so,summer time isn't really here ...yet! But, for our state, it comes early...TOO DAMN EARLY! (As I write this, we are coming off a 100 degree heat - FIRST WEEK OF JUNE!)

So, in the sweltering spirit of brain damaging heat...I thought it would be fun to break it on down.
Enjoy the song...(one of my absolute favorites sung by FANTASIA.)
click on her name for the video...
And the livin' is easy
Fish are jumpin'
And the cotton is high
Your daddy's rich
And your mamma's good lookin'
So hush little baby
Don't you cry

And now, my personal break down of the song:

"Summertime, And the livin' is easy"

TOTAL BS! How can you live it easy when it is so damn hot outside, your fingers stick to the steering cover the kids booster seat with a towel to keep it from radiating such heat, that it burns her little bottom!

"Fish are jumpin' And the cotton is high"

Ain't no damn fish jumpin here...if they did, they would die as soon as they hit the heat over the water...ya and die!

Cotton? Hell, the only cotton high here is the shorts running up the butt cracks of poorly dressed people at the grocery store. You know those glass screens over the salad bars? It ain't for anything other than catching sweat dripping off those uncovered arm bags!

"Oh, Your daddy's rich"

Um, er, ahem...anyone heard of the recession going on? Hell no, Daddy ain't rich...Stay at home dads are at the mercy of their partners...or government programs!

"And your mamma's good lookin"

For those of you still in the dark, as to our family make-up:...Sorry Kid! No Mama here...the egg donor is pretty darn good looking, but we have no contact with her! Snuggle on up with the sweaty neighbor lady!

"So hush little baby Don't you cry"

Should be...Hush little toddler, don't ask so many damn questions! Read recently that the average 4 year old asks 432 questions...PER DAY! Yup, Bella is going to be 4 next month. She got a VERY early start!

"One of these mornings You're going to rise up singing"

Yeah Right! That will be the day. We get.."It's Morning time"...Can I get up? Please Please Please...over and over...(at least 30 times) till we go in and get her out of bed! I'll sing the morning song..."Good Morning, Good Morning...It's good to be alive. Good morning, good morning, to you". Of course, I get that all important "morning hug"...she stands on the bed, and wraps her arms around me and squeezes oh so tight...and says:..."Good Morning Daddy."

"Then you'll spread your wings And you'll take to the sky"

Uh Uh, we don't let her jump on the if those wings spread, she is gonna fall...besides, ever heard of ICARUS? Ya know, too close to the sun and the wings melted? Yup, no doubt it would happen here! And there I would be, cleaning up yet another mess!

"But until that morning There's a'nothing can harm you"

LIES LIES LIES! I still monitor the monitor, to make sure she is good to go in bed. No bugs flying around, no one sneaking in through her window. Also, making sure she isn't jumping on that damn bed, trying to spread those frikkin wings!

"With your daddy and mammy standing by"

Daddy and PAPA, thank you VERY MUCH! Uh, Mammy? Not very PC eh?

...and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't ask so many damn question! Driving Daddy Bonkers!!

Coming Soon: What I learned on my blogger months long break. (Hint) What Frikkin Break?

18 BellaBuddies left comments! Ya know ya wanna!!:

WeaselMomma said...

I'm linking to you today for being a sahd with class.

Jesus has two Daddies said...

This was too funny. Great stuff.

Mrs.Lemon said...

yay yay yay! Your back! Missed you! I was missing AZ the other day, but now you helped me remember how unbelieveably hot it is - I cannot imagine being 9 months pregnant in that heat! Come's only like 70 degrees here today.
Oh and I have this weird things about salad bars anyway, but this: "You know those glass screens over the salad bars? It ain't for anything other than catching sweat dripping off those uncovered arm bags!" made me throw up in my mouth. Thanks for the visual.

Give Bella hugs from me!

PJ Mullen said...

432 questions per day, huh? Yikes. I better go get fitted for a reverse hearing aid or something :)

Missed you all, glad you are back.

lil-deb said...

Dude OMG you just made me laugh out loud for REALS!!!
And ummm 4???? damn shes all grown up

Bobby said...

Preach it! Ugh I dread the AZ summers...

Portland Dad said...

Way to ruin that song with your realist take on life. I thought we agreed to pretend it was all good

Portland Dad said...

Way to ruin that song for me with your silly realist take. I thought we agreed we would pretend every thing was good in the summer

SurprisedMom said...

You're back! Yes! I've missed hearing your take on life with Bella! I laughed out loud and gulped back nausea with some of those images you related. So, you're saying its hot in AZ? :) It's been a mixed bag here in Chicago. Lately, we're either blazing hot or getting soaked, sometimes with lightening flashes and loud noises. It's always interesting.
Once again, you're back! Yes!

Mike and Mike said...

Okay, so 432 x 2 = 862...we are so screwed it's not even gonna be funny. And cold you send some sunshine this way? I have our 1-year B-day party Sunday and they say it's gonna rain! @(_*@$&@(&#@!(&^%!!!! But seriously...862...

Sarah said...

Soooooo funny! Not to mention you look like a total stud in that picture :-)

Que said...

For some reason... And I'm not sure what it is... But, I get the feeling that Fantasia wasn't singing to you. LOL!

Spuds said...

I'm just sitting here grinning! Good to see you back! Very FUNNY! I agree with my best, good buddy, Que... I don't think you Fantasia should be singing in Arizona. At least not that song!

Jason, as himself said...

So much to think about here!

I hope you're back to stay. I've missed Bella's Daddy.

Jane said...

loved seeing you back :)

Jeanna said...

Hey David, you look good in your white shirt in the photo w/Bella. You been working out during your break?

And the 3 of you look GREAT in the runway pic. Bella has a BEAUTIFUL dress to match her beautiful face. You 2 look like such proud dad/papa's as you should be.

Miss & love you lots!

- Jeanna

seashore subjects said...

Yea! You're back! It's way too hot here too. So, keep cool inside and post.

ciara said...

haha funny...and if you think the questions ever stop, i'm sorry to tell you that they don't ;p~

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