Monday, February 7, 2011

"Tolerance" - Really?

Hopefully this will simply be read, and understood.

I believe "tolerate" is one word over-used...too easily and overwhelmingly!!

Stick with me here.

Think about it. The word tolerate means (thank you Google):

1.Allow the existence, occurrence, or practice of (something that one does not necessarily like or agree with) without interference

■a regime unwilling to tolerate dissent

2.Accept or endure (someone or something unpleasant or disliked) with forbearance

■how was it that she could tolerate such noise?

3.Be capable of continued subjection to (a drug, toxin, or environmental condition) without adverse reaction

■lichens grow in conditions that no other plants tolerate

Lets look at number #1:

"allow" being the first word, bothers me. Why would anyone simply "allow" someone else to just be? Allowing their "existence"...allowing? Hell, I may not remember being born, but I don't think anyone "allowed" me to be who I am. I just am. Who made these people master of all that is tolerated?


Lets go with the actual example. "such noise?" I make very little noise in this world, I would not expect anyone to "tolerate" me for being me. As I would not judge, nor tolerate anyone as such.


Well, I can relate to that one. We all can. Our bodies need to tolerate here and there...but our minds? I don't think so! We have the ability to choose. That is what makes us unique!

My point being: We all hear in the news, the Internet, the blogs, one group tolerates another. How one religion tolerates the others. One ethnic group tolerates another in a neighborhood. One nation tolerates the militaristic grumblings of their neighbors. One state tolerates the next states political visions. One gender tolerating another. That last one may be more acceptable than I am willing to admit, but hell, I have trouble with the same gender!

I DON'T WANT TO BE SIMPLY TOLERATED! I prefer to BE. That's it. Just BE!

I don't want to be tolerated for being who I am. For the color of my skin. How I think, feel and love. For the way I was born. How I live my life. For our daughters very special being - having two fathers. I don't want to be tolerated for having a family that just happens to be out of the norm.

Someone please tell me, what exactly is the norm these days?

My partner and I were at a dinner awhile back. There was a 20-something man, gay, heralding the idea of being a role model for gay youth. Sending a positive message that we can, and will, be who we are. That to teach "tolerance" was paramount in his endeavors. Get the word out, that gay people deserve to be tolerated.

I certainly salute his determination to make a difference, however, why on earth would you want to instill the ability to tolerate someone? I just don't get it. I don't want to be tolerated, damn it! I just want to be . I don't care to be accepted, or judged for sinning, but being loved as a sinner! How hypocritical is that? I only care to be me, a human being, taking up space on this mother earth. Don't think twice about who I am, and how I chose to live my life. My life is not yours to "tolerate". It is mine, and mine only!

We have such limited time in life. Why waste it judging people for who they happen to be. Love one another, smile for each other. Don't simply tolerate someone,. get to know them. Offer your life's experiences; absorb theirs. You may find some pretty cool friends, get some helpful hints for life...and downright walk away with a feeling of accomplishment and camaraderie.

Grin from ear to ear. Feel the love! We are all special in our own right. Open your hearts and minds to some thing/some one different from you and those who surround you.

In short:

"Don't Tolerate - Circulate! "

9 BellaBuddies left comments! Ya know ya wanna!!:

Anonymous said...


Susan C.

Anonymous said...


Loved it, Love you, Love you three... Keep speaking truth (especially to the intolerant)..

All the best...

David J.

paradykes said...

Amen! This is quite powerful and beautiful. I'm tired of being tolerated by my state, my partners family, my church (or what was my church), my community. Why can't I be treated as an equal? My family matters, my existence matters.

PJ Mullen said...

Well said. I've always thought that the idea of tolerating someone meant that I should acknowledge their existence but little else. I prefer to accept people for who they are rather than merely "tolerate" them - it definitely seems dismissive. As long as they aren't hurting anyone, especially anyone important to me, who am I to judge their lives. Great points and post. I hope all is well with you all.

Susan R. said...


Lex Valentine said...

I never really thought about it but you're right. You'd think I'd know better since I write gay romances. My mama would have been so proud of you for what you posted. She had to be the most accepting person I've ever known. If you wanted to be a clown in the circus she'd still love you. ;)

Jaime Samms said...

wonderful post. Thank you :)

Melisa with one S said...

Excellent post. I've often been annoyed at the use of "tolerance", myself!

SurprisedMom said...

Thank you. This is excellent.

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